ROLLS ROYCE RR4

That treasure trove of appalling autodom described in the most gnarled English imaginable, otherwise known as eBay Motors, serves up today's flavorful morsel of weird and wonderful. Why wait for the upcoming Rolls-Royce RR4 when you can just throw $50K at this heavily customized Chrysler 300C. It's got the ostentatious grille, the suicide doors, the RR embroidered headrests, but most importantly, a HEMI V8 underhood. HEMI, apparently now transmuted to mean "multi-displacement system," will save you fuel as you rent the car out for the dreamy rate of $750 per day as the seller suggests. At least with a Chrysler lurking underneath all that nasty, you can be assured that repair costs will be nominal compared to the real thing.

2008 Wolf Ford Kuga

With the Ford Kuga, the Cologne-based automobile manufacturer once again presents a car from a still booming vehicle class: a compact SUV. The Ford Kuga is an emotionally and technically perfected vehicle which can now even be further enhanced by the exclusive Wolf styling programme. The Ford specialist already devised a power enhancement which improves the serial performance from a standard 136 hp with 320 Nm to 158 hp with 375 Nm. The (German) retail price is 795 euros. The Wolf Race rims measuring 9 x 20“ ET40 in a silver design with high-grade steel lining of the outer rim are not only elegant, but also sportive. The set comes with 275/30 R20 Pirelli tyres. The overall price for the light alloy rim set by Wolf is 2,850 euros (Germany). The Wolf sport springs which lower the car by 40 mm render optimal road holding and can be obtained at any Ford dealer or directly at the company Wolf Racing Neuenstein GmbH & Co. KG for 199 euros (Germany).

The light alloy rim programme for the Ford Kuga is also available in the measures 8,5 x 18“ and 8,5 x 19“. The light alloy rims which were exclusively developed by Wolf stand out by their lower weight compared to the serial rims. This does not only reduce the unsprung masses and renders more comfort, it also minimises the fuel consumption, as every additional and unnecessary load leads to a higher total weight and therefore also to a higher fuel consumption. The light alloy rim programme by Wolf is available in various surface finishes. The complete Wolf styling programme can be directly ordered from Wolf Racing, Neuenstein or from your local Ford dealer.

Eat my sand: Dakar Rally

It's a good day for big cool stuff. Earlier, we saw that giant Volvo riot van/powerwasher thing, and now this: the probably-somewhat-faster but equally excellent-looking Mitsubishi Racing Lancer.

These are the first pictures we've seen of Mitsu's new cross-country rallier, which is shortly to make its race debut ahead of next year's Dakar rally.

Yep, that's the Dakar rally in South America. Confusing it may be, but Mitsubishi is out to win it, and reckons the Racing Lancer is the car to do it.

It's powered by a three-litre V6 turbodiesel - aye, diesel - with, we assume, enough torque to spin South America upside-down.

It looks pretty awesome, no? When the robots take over the cities and we're all forced to live a nomadic, hand-to-mouth existence, roaming the deserts and plains, we want one of these for company.

Sorry, did we say "when"? If. Obviously we meant "if".